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Parents

April 15, 2012

My god-mummy told me, “No matter what you kids do, we as parents will always love you.”

I do agree to that.

No matter how many times I’ve said hurtful things to my folks, they’ve always loved me and been there for me.

My mum messaged me saying that she and daddy will always love me and that I’m their precious when I was really depressed.

I’m not the best daughter in the world.

And I don’t think I’m the worst (I hope).

After writing this entry, I wouldn’t magically transform into the Best Daughter In The World.

But, I just feel that I have to write this entry.

Many a times, we as kids take things for granted.

We find their constant nagging untolerable.

But, what if one of these days, they’re not here anymore?

Will you miss the nagging?

 I know I would.

BUT THIS DOESN’T MEAN THAT I WANT THEM TO NAG MORE!!

Anyway, I’ve met a few people who only learnt to treasure their parents when they’ve lost them.

They recall how their parents did this and that, how dinner was ever so good.

Simple things in life.

But they’ll never be able to turn back time to make things work differently.

I have friends who complain to me about how they can’t stand their parents’ ways of doing things.

From an outsider’s point of view, I’ll tell them that they have to just tolerate because they’re their parents and they meant well.

But when I’m put in the same situation, I blow my top faster than the speed of light.

Some of us choose to ignore, some of us choose to shout back at them.

But I know after what ever hurtful things have left our mouths, we’ll definitely regret it.

Some of us apologise, some of us don’t.

Dear parents, it’s not that we do not feel guilty about our actions.

We just don’t know how to put it in words.

You may call it ego, but that’s how we are at times.

But I have to admit that after blowing my top, SOMETIMES I’ll let my ego go, and I’ll apologise for what ever hurtful things I’ve said.

And after apologising, I feel so much better.

We can’t choose our parents.

If they got to choose who their kids are, it probably wouldn’t be you (or me, for my case)

They may be the most irritating pair, or what we call “old fashioned” and “not-understanding”.

But they’ll always be there for us.

In good times, and in bad.

For better, or worse.

Till death do us part (Literally).

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Facts About Me

April 9, 2012
  1. I was a Pleaser from primary school till secondary 2 because I was afraid that my classmates didn’t like me. I stopped being one when I was 15.
  2. I’m not as confident about myself as I may appear to be.
  3. When I’m awkward, there’s something that I will do to ease/ hide my awkwardness (I’m not telling what exactly)
  4. My art pieces were always done by my parents since primary to secondary school. I’ve only started drawing in year 2011?
  5. Till date, I’ve never drawn a portrait of a friend or family member. There’s only one potrait I’ve done that I’m very proud of.
  6. I’m a hopeless romantic, and always felt that if I were a guy, my gf will be the most fortunate girl in the world.
  7. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a veterinarian.
  8. As a kid, I spent a lot of time in the library reading about dogs and Egyptian history. And I enjoyed browsing through the classified section number 74 on the Sunday Times.
  9. My dream when I was 14 was to be the youngest member of an ensemble comprising of adults. For a period of time then, I thought I was going to make music a part of my career.
  10. I always dreaded having to practice on the piano for half and hour everyday. I literally count down every minute.
  11. I hated having to go for theory lessons
  12. I do not practice my scales and arpeggios till the day before my practical exams.
  13. I’ve a bad habit of using weird fingerings for the pieces I play, and I get told off for doing so.
  14. I used to think that it was cool to have slightly longer finger nails because of how my fingers go clack clack clack clack when playing on the keyboard. But I end up having to cut them off during practial lessons. -.-
  15. I secretly love it when people think that I do not look my race.
  16. I love staying in hotels.
  17. I have never been the kind to stay back after band practice to play on the keyboard. I do not believe in having to “show off” what I can do on the keyboard to fellow band mates.
  18. I try to look busy fiddling with my phone when I’m alone.
  19. My way of tidying up my room involves throwing a lot of things away instead of packing them away neatly.
  20. I’m a super light sleeper.
  21. I’m very sensitive to smell.
  22. I cried the very first time a guy told me that he fancied me in secondary 1. It wasn’t tears of joy. It was because I was afraid.
  23. I walk to the beat of the music I’m plugged in to.
  24. My nickname on IRC and hotmail was cutie_putie11 during secondary school because a prefect came to tell me during orientation that I was cute.  *facepalm*
  25. I lost my passion for music for nearly a year because I was too focused on modelling.
  26. I secretly love it when I “tower” over the people around me.
  27. My way of managing pain is by telling myself that it is only temporary.
  28. In secondary 2 I had an obsession for bells and had them hanging from my bag. It was so noisy that my friends could tell that I was coming to class when I’m at the 2nd level and they were at the 3rd.
  29. I hate having my bedsheet changed because I find my own scent comforting.
  30. When I was young, I like to stick my fingers through the grills of the fan trying to touch the blade while it’s on.

Staycation

April 7, 2012

The super long weekend has finally arrived.

And I had something to really look forward to.

If you’re following me on Twitter, I’ve been raving about having a “Serena Van Der Woodsen” vacation.

The day finally came.

And who better to spend it with, other than the bestie.

They had a iphone/itouch dock beside the bed.

And it gave off the surround sound effect.

And whatever was playing off the bestie’s playlist immediately set the mood to a “Serena” vacation.

I was going to give up on that green floral bikini because I got it from H&M without trying it on.

And it doesn’t give alot of coverage.

But thank goodness I came up with wearing it with my bikini under it.

It works doesn’t it?

Then it was bubble bath time.

Surprisingly, the tub was kinda big enough for two.

And she brought bubble bath.

🙂

Off to cocktail reception and dinner.

After dinner, we bought strawberries, cherry tomatos and other whatnots.

We just had to go back to the tub.

Bare-faced with a black nose-strip.

Later on, the face mask went on.

It was truly THE life.

I was so glad that it was a Friday, and I was going to wake up to Saturday and not Sunday.

You know what I mean.

Waking up to this view while washing up.

It’s good that we’re located at the top level, it being level 3.

Super hearty breakfast.

Off to the pool for the last time before checking out.

Brought my sketch book along.

Did a little sketching.

One last soak before checking out.

While taking a shower, the bestie  happened to be blasting Your Song by Ewan McGregor (from Moulin Rouge) in the room.

And what I heard from the shower was simply mind-blowing.

It gave the “lift-your-spirits-up” feeling.

You have to experience it to know what I’m talking about.

This is currently my favourite hotel in Singapore.

Very cosy.

Feels pretty much away from the city, but also a stone’s throw away from town.

Dearest Lonely Boy, I know you’ll so love the place. Wish you were here.

xoxo S

Soak Away The Blues

April 6, 2012

Yong Siak Trip

April 1, 2012

Finally, a trip down to Yong Siak Street with Zeewee

Brunch was at Forty Hands.

Wasn’t very hungry though.

And we popped over to Books Actually

🙂

And some other shops along the same stretch.

Super interesting design company’s office.

Photos are taken using both my Canon and iTouch cameras.

Obvious which are taken by which.

Dumb Girl

March 31, 2012

Was at work, and my colleague turned to me and said,

“Shan, you need to be softer.”

And my reply to her was,

“I’m not soft meh?!”

“You go touch the floor see soft or not?”

“Soft. ‘Cos there’s carpet.”

“-.-“

My colleague, M, thinks that I’m not the most girly girl at work.

Yes, I dress up for work.

Colleagues have made comments that I was “Fashionable” (thank you), and “Stylish” (thank you again).

But I’m not the kind that goes all “girly” and “flirty” when I speak.

You know what I’m getting at don’t you?

How soft am I suppose to be?

After a half and hour talk, I finally understood what she meant.

I know that I’m not the most girly girl around.

Never was, never will be (I think).

She said that guys (SOME of you guys, if you’re reading) are more attracted to “dumb” and “soft” girls.

“Dumb” and “Soft” girls make guys feel more like a “Hero”.

Her exact words were,

“They don’t want a girl who knows EVERYTHING.”

If we’re talking about being “Dumb”.

“Dumb”, I can never be.

I can never lower myself to a level where I have to appear “not-so-smart” to get a guy’s attention.

Because I feel that even if I did, I will never be able to keep the act going for long.

It’s not that I do not give “face” to guys that I go out with.

I do.

There’re times when I’m out with a guy, and he makes a comment about a certain something and I know that it is wrong (factually), I DO NOT correct him.

I DO NOT!

I’ll just keep quiet, or say something like, “Oh…Is it?”.

But in my mind, I’m pointing at him laughing my head off.

I know that it is abit overboard.

The “point-and-laugh-my-head-off” only happens when he makes a really REALLY ridiculous comment, or trying too hard to be “smart”.

Trust me, I’m usually nice.

I do not do the “PALMHO” all the time

*angel face*

So tell me guys and girls out there.

If you’re a guy, will you really want to date a girl who is “dumb”?

“Dumb” being, she has no opinion of her own, clueless about the world, gets impressed when you say something that is pretty much common sense/ general knowledge.

Yes, you probably feel the ego boost.

But wouldn’t it be boring??

Wouldn’t you want someone who listens to your views, and gives you her views on the same subject?

Someone who can actually “debate” with you about things.

Someone who has an opinion (but not TOO much).

Isn’t that more interesting?

Unless you love listening to yourself talk, and having the girl swoon over EVERYTHING YOU SAY.

Then that I’ve nothing to say.

Imagine this.

You bring this “dumb” girl out to meet your friends, and the reaction she gives to things that are discussed, are just,

“HUH~! Is it? Really ah?”

Or something that is plain “not-very-smart”, that leaves people speechless *twirls imaginery blonde hair*.

Do you really want that?

If I’m one of the friends, I’ll definitely be thinking,

“Did she really just say that?”

“Is she really dumb? Or is she just putting up an act? Or am I suddenly dumb because what she just said makes no sense to me.”

“HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO FREAKIN’ DUMB!!!”

I know I sound really mean.

But if I were a boy…

*starts singing*

IF I were a boy, I’ll definitely date a girl who is not “dumb”.

I know I may not get the instant “ego boost” or feel like a “Hero”,

BUT!

LIFE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST THAT!

I’ll want to date a girl who has a mind of her own, someone who I can have a “debate” with.

Someone who is able to let me see things from different points of view.

She may not be an “ego-booster”, but I THINK that she’ll be good company and I’ll probably learn alot from her.

Yes, the dumb girl may make a really neat arm- accessory.

But seriously?

You want a “Dumb-Bell” hanging from your arm?

Pfft~!

Yay or Nay to dating a “Dumb” girl.

You tell me.

The Vow

March 26, 2012

I hope one day you can love the way that I love you.

You figured it out once, you’ll do it again.

I vow.

No matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other.